Idiom; Enchantment

New Blogga

2006-12-16T07:33:00.000-08:00

Word.

http://idiomenchant.blogspot.com/

Word.

Sorry I aint been to Youth group, or church that much guys, I feel so bad about it >.> I'm coming tot he sleepover though! and I am to come to next wednsday's YG if I have time...

Defending ones faith

2006-12-04T13:01:00.000-08:00

This is something that is not fun. Today this person who was high started bugging my freind and asking her to defend her faith with alot of questions that were ment to corner someone and make them cry. This was on the bus. She never backed down and I did my part in helping her. I feel as if I have lived for this one reason, if not more.

I am ment to help others and so far, I have not lived up to my oath. I have today though, I have stood up for my faith in our Lord, Jesus Christ. I have stood up to everything I hold dear and I still stand.

Oh Lord, show me the way, the way to be pure.

~Josh

....

2006-12-03T14:49:00.000-08:00

today was a bore, i feel like im not doing anything iwith my life.

yea

2006-11-29T12:43:00.001-08:00

I really want to be his freind but yea, he is very shy so I dunno.

someone help me choose?

So ... I do not understand.

2006-11-27T18:23:00.000-08:00

Today in chemistry I really wanted to be near him to work with him and maybe start talking but no, he worked on the other side of the room. haha, go me? I talked to him during chemistry for a few moments. Also, nodded my head at him in the hall and he did so back.

Iunno, maybe he thinks im a freak.

go me.

go me.

~joshua

For the record...

2006-11-26T09:14:00.000-08:00

Below are what people wrote on my poster last night during the cast party.

"You say I'm boring but I say hardy! Woot, Woot! Unfrench Fry! - Power Turban (phil) "

"Joshua, my pants are offlimits. - Andrew Pollock "

"Josha ... Froshua ... Poshua ... Shakespeare. Ben Mulroney Loves you. - Karissa Donkin"

" Great Job Josh! - Ms Blok"

"-Ben"

"good Job Josh. - Ms Lutz"

"Josh, Hello, how are you? this is a bumpy surface. I like the way you act a lot. - Mitchell Pert"

"Josh, you are awsome. you rocked as M. Le Beau! Yeah News! :P im tired love ya - Jillian Bonner"

"Hey Josh, good job shakespearing! - Kate (prompter) "

"Stop stealing my couchspace you idiot ps great job! - Anthony Noletti"

"Poop is good when it smells bad. - [Charles]"

"-Patrick Creamer"

"One word - creepy. - Nicole"

"-Seth"

"Lebeau! I never actually talked to you in any scenes, I am a demi-god! - Todd"

"Josh, you are an angel. keep owning shakespeare. next year you will be a lead. - Brain Beckett"

"Good job josh you are a great actor good luck. - Tim Shannon"

"Yo Josh, STOP STROKING THE FUR! - Colin"

"-Chris Mcintosh (light techy)"

"Stop feeling up the guys!! Shakespeare next year!! - Josh Makin"

"Good show! - Paul Parks"

"Josh, AUDREEEY!! Your kisses, lovely eyes and heartbreaks are forever in my memory. good luck next year. - Soliel"

Woot.

~Joshua

Run along with the wind in my hair

2006-11-23T21:21:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try one more time this week, If I cannot make a connection I will cease to try being nick's friend. :(

~Jazz

Comin' Home

2006-11-22T15:42:00.000-08:00

I really feel like a fool. The boy I was telling you folk about a few weeks ago, and how I would try to become his friend. I don't think it is working. I try to talk to him when I can, which is usually jsut at the locker and all I say is, "How are ya" or, "have a good night/weekend". I feel like I am trying at a loss cause and that he thinks I am stupid or odd for trying to talk to him.

Earlier this week there was a fire drill in chemistry and so yea, I tried to talk outside, sorta did ... I don't think he even notices me. So what am I to do? Should I give up a lost cause, or try harder? I can invite him to caitlins birthdya party but he may think I am odd ... haha, I could just say I was told to invite someone, and I dunno. Here I go again, rambling.

but i'm coming home, i'm coming home
i'm coming home
I know that we're taking chances
you told me life was a risk
I jsut have one last qestion
will it be my heart, or will it be his
I'm coming home

That very much tells you that I am really at a road block. I really want to be his friend and really, if at all possible, more. I'd rather be his friend then jsut going out with him. As odd as it seems, I have never felt this way about anyone before so it is really confusing. It is not love, it is not lust. It is but the simplist emotion I can think of, it is the emotion that I cannot describe. It is the emotion that comes with wanting friendship. It is caring. I guess I care about him ... ?

~Joshua

It is caring. I guess I care about him ... ?

Sleep deprived, breakdown aproching.

2006-11-19T20:29:00.000-08:00

So I cannot sleep! Go me, and this week I have ...

Monday - Dress Rehersal COMPLETED
Tuesday - Working at GNR concert, home round 1-3am COMPLETED
Wednsday - DAY OFF COMPLETED
Thursday - Shakespeare Preformance, Day 1
Friday - Shakespeare Preformance, Day 2
Saturday - Shakespeare Preformance, Day 3 - Cast party, done around 1am
Sunday - No church this week, mental break down day.

So, the way i think it, if I can make it to sunday without a breakdown (and by that I mean freaking out over everything, being a totoal bee-sting to everyone and sleeping in class) then I am good. If not, prepare yourself for a bee-stinging Josh this week, it shall be hectic. Also, I will edit this post as the week goes on to show ya how I am doing ... go me.

Oh, and I forgot my wakeup times for this week ...

Monday - 6am - swimming COMPLETED
Tuesday - 6am - swimming COMPLETED
Wednsday - done work at around, what? 3am? wake up at ... 7am 4 hrs sleep! COMPLETED
Thursday - 6am - swimming
Friday - 8am ish, heading to pollocks before Shakespear
Saturday - 7am, no idea what im doing till shakespeare ...
Sunday - Whenevet the hell I want to.

~Joshua

Sunday - No church this week, mental break down day.

Canteen me brotha.

2006-11-17T20:21:00.000-08:00

Props to Andrew Pollock, Steven Dimarco, Saining Li, and Phil Marmen for helping me provide the BEST canteen day ever. We had some music (pollock's and mine) and we jammed to a few tunes. Got alot sold, really got great feedback on it. Around fifteen people said our music kicked some serious DJ ass. Also, for the last hour of the dance I was placing some hot tunes on my laptop, techno of course, and dancing and moshing with myself whilst serving people. It was a sweet time. I even got a few comments on that I should really be on marketing comitte.

Peace Bro.

~Jazz

Props to Andrew Pollock, Steven Dimarco, Saining Li, and Phil Marmen

The plan is to give, not gain.

2006-11-16T18:37:00.000-08:00

I am no longer going to be going to england this summer. I have my reasons and they are very good. Just wanted to let you all know that I can spend my hard earned money on things much better then a trip to england for just a week or so. There is something I would rather be spending my money on.

Today Saint John High School won regionals! We placed first overall with 275 points, it was wicked and props go out to all who swam. Our last relay (Arno, Ian, Sam, Me) was wicked awsome as we were wicked awsome sprinting crazy 100 for each of us. 5min flat was our time %_%.

It's getting a tad late and if anyone have Holly from Woodstocks MSN, please tell me:P

~Josh

There is something I would rather be spending my money on.

Awww yeah!

2006-11-15T19:28:00.000-08:00

JOHN SPRINGTHROP, READ THE ENTRY BEFORE THIS ONE!!

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man		90%
Green Lantern		85%
Hulk		75%
Superman		75%
Catwoman		70%
Iron Man		70%
The Flash		65%
Supergirl		52%
Robin		45%
Wonder Woman		42%
Batman		40%

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Word. I am spidey. Take that phil marmen.

~Joshua

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Deja Vu, Chemistry style.

2006-11-14T20:07:00.000-08:00

So, today, well actually a mere 2 minutes ago, I had a chemistry Deja Vu! It was my first one and I was doing the question of converting Al[2](SO[4])[3] (between [ and ] is subscript) into percent composition and I was on the oxygen part and I remebered a dream I freaking had in september. That's right, it has happend again.

This is not the first time I have dreamed something that has happend a year or so or even a day after. Once I dreamed of a full day of school and then awoke and it all played out, the same actions, the same pen falling the same assembly the same speeches the same clothing. Everything down to the last detail was correct.

I guess this means I can kinda see the future but I am not aware of when or why it happens. It is sorta like a mini preview and I like it, I jsut wish I could control it and see things on will. I would really like to see a few things happen and see if I can change them.

An example of what I am talking about would be, and this is no lie, about a week before my friend lent me his pen for a math test with one question on it, I dreamd it. A week later, I said the same thing, got the same pen and the question was the same. the guy infront of me in the dream got up and make me move my arm causing a line across my test and it happend in real life. So yea, it does freak me out sometimes but I really do like it.

I seriously wish I knew how it was possible to do what I randomly do in my dreams? Is it possible I can invision the future? or am I just freaking out? I always knew I was something different, something more.

~ Joshua Fry

I always knew I was something different, something more.

Luke 4:18-19

2006-11-13T08:02:00.001-08:00

"the lord has put his spirit in me
because he appointed me to tell the good news to the poor. He ha sent me to tell the captives they are free. and to tell the blind that they can see again. god sent me to free those who have been treated unfairly. and announce when the the lord will show his kindness."

A childs tears speak the words of a nation

2006-11-12T13:45:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I got called into work and my mother said yes. I went in and I was put on sections H-J. It was ok, seeing as it was my first time so I did fairly good. What really got to me yesterday was that during the moment of silence the only thing I could hear was a child crying. This, to me, was very powerful. It made me think of all those lost and all those to be lost. It made me think of the pain of all the nations of the world. It made me think of how precious life is and that we need to live it for now. This is why I have decided to become a better person and to help people when I can.

When i see someone in need, I will try and help them. When I see someone lost, I will try to assist them. When I see someone being kicked when they are down, I will try and guard them. When I see oppourtunity to go across the world. I will take it.

All because of the crying child. I think the child for so many things. I thanks the child for opening my eyes when I was blind. The sad thing is, the child doesn't even know me.

~Joshua Fry

The sad thing is, the child doesn't even know me.

IB Chemistry is interesting...

2006-11-10T13:44:00.000-08:00

So, today in chemistry (and for the past week) this really cute boy has been looking in my general direction alot, wondering why, I simply stare back and our eyes meet for a bit then we both look away. It seems odd but he may not be looking at me. Although, for some reason, I find him really cute and he seems nice and his name, which I will not mention here, is so beautiful.

I do not understand what has gotten into me, I seem to be a totoally different person. I am acting differently, like, the way I talk the way I do things and the fact that the lowest mark on my report card is 69%. Also, I am shocked that I cannot get this boy out of my head, he is just so nice and he seems like a person who is awsome.

What I guess I am trying to say is that maybe ym prayers have been answerd? For the past few weeks I have been praying for a few things, to get into IB chemistry and to find someone or at least be able to find someone new to be friends with. It may seem odd but I feel like I am ment to befriend this person or at least make an effort, the thing is, I feel as if I do not know how to. I am usually not a social person and I found all the people I know now from other people who introduced me to them.

Is it true that god works in mysterious ways? I feel as if he has been very active in my life recently but I cannot explain why I suspect this... but now I have a reason in life. I have a reason to live and I can finaly give thanks to those who need it. I finally can be alive.

~Joshua Fry

"It may seem odd but I feel like I am ment to befriend this person or at least make an effort, the thing is, I feel as if I do not know how to."

You are my hero, faster then light...

2006-11-08T19:12:00.000-08:00

Today sucked major ass

I mean, not literally of course but still,

It still realativily sucked major hypothetical ass.

If someone is in a class, and doenst WANT to do the work

THEN DONT BE IN THAT CLASS!

God, stephanie donovan NEVER wants to do anything,

Then she comaplins about me being to hyper about theatre arts.

for jimmy sakes, its theatre arts!

Sincerly,
Joshua Fry.
Last one of this format. Savour it. Love it.

Ya-har

2006-10-30T16:57:00.000-08:00

I feel as if time is not my friend

Phil, i hope you understood the trogdor comment.

I would rather not talk about it, but

if I ever think of doing that again, I will talk to you about it.

At least I know someone

Who I can talk to

I am such a nerd.

If I do not get into IB chemistry I will freak.

I will literally slap mahaffy across his face.

Until next time,
Joshua (Jazz) Fry
Forgive.

I

2006-10-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

I seriously just want to die

I seriously just wand to be normal

God deliver me from my sins

I deserve death then what you give me.

Purity

2006-10-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

Simple image editing can be so relaxing.

click for bigger view.

Request.

2006-10-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

Unlike the unkindness of my soul ...

2006-10-13T16:03:00.000-07:00

A new formatt has been accepted.

I will always remain a child,

Forever.

Once I can love, I can live.

Some people just do not understand,

How hard it is to be a 16 year-old bisexual ...

I wonder if anyone truly understands anyone else?

Or are we all just different, so different that,

No one will ever understand one person

Completely what another is going through?

Maybe I am just a loser

Some people never learn.

I want everyone who reads this to

Make a prayer list, now, a prayer list is

A list of people to pray for.

My list is realativly small, but here it is ...

Jen, mom & dad, my friends, their friends and family and anyone else who is in need of god at that moment in time.

Being listed from important

To not as important.

Enjoy.
Signed,
Jazz.
Childish.Wonders.

this comlink's lost its frequency and I feel that we're coming home short ,,,

2006-10-12T15:19:00.000-07:00

... then why should I spend any more time in a world that's going to end pretty soon?

God is dangerous.

I start with these words because it is truth. God is the most dangerous entity in our lives. Not in the sense that he is evil and all, but mostly that there are those who will kill you for being on his side in this neverending war to find equality, and the prefect Élan*. God is the only thing most people have and yet there are those who will take that away.

*Élan means life

Life sucks but live with it, nothing is going to change.

Unless you make it change for you.

Well, it's this boys time to shine in the face of our lord.

Peace comes from not all, but from some.

Eternal peace comes from all and not some.

There-in lies our fault.

Would it really be different if Eve did not eat that apple?

Forgive me for I have sinned. x10^900th power

Not alone. We shall all face our demons without fear and anxiety.

Am I ment for something special ...

... Or am I just another pile of flesh on this planet?

Confused, whittled, worn.

Why is the simple act of confessing love,

So gosh darn hard?

Is it god playing tricks on us?

7:30pm

Or does love not exist?

Did we as humans invent it?

Or did god just give us something to worry about?

Signed,
Jazz.
Forgive me everyone.

This gravity aint' good enough babe ...

2006-10-08T16:36:00.000-07:00

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.

I am sorry babe but I can't keep this going on, I am taken by you.

~Jazz

No longer will the soul rest on him ...

2006-10-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

4 years is a long time, time to let go...

Well, today Is really the day I let go of someone I have liked for over 4 years of my life and well, I feel better. I met a new kid at school who keeps my mind off it, he is a cool guy ... maybe cooler than pie. Haha, on firday we went to Java Moose and then to the pretzel shop, I got some cool pictures from the trip and Saining also came.

I guess it is going to be harder then ever to get blogsaintjohn working (BlogSaintJohn.Wordpress.com) seeing as most people have the worst attitude about Saint John. Oh well...

I left my swimming gear at youth group room so yea, it's not good ... I should go now and yea, cya all later.

~ Jazz

Help me make Blog Saint John work!

2006-09-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hello there, I know I have not posted in such a long time, but now I am. I have an idea to get people togather by simply posting pictures, rants, or music FROM Saint John. I want to see if it could take off, so please, spread the word and get others excited about this.

http://blogsaintjohn.blogspot.com/

Please read the first post on how to obtain posting abilities and help this blog to soar. I would really like to see Saint John as others see it. So spread the word, and enjoy.

Some pictures of the day

2006-09-16T20:51:00.000-07:00

Everyone starts small, I will start medium.

Just some fake leaves in our kitchen.

My father, looking out my bedroom window.

I am handing you my heart ...

2006-09-12T14:44:00.000-07:00

... but you are just throwing it away.

My heart is neither broken nor whole, not without you.

~ Jazz

Anxiety inside Passion

2006-09-09T22:14:00.000-07:00

"Is it so much to ask to be loved?"

Well, today I thought I could get a head start on a Theatre Arts thing we have to do. In total, we will be doing two monolouges; one we find and one we write ourselfs. I mentioned this to my friend, Mike, and he sent me one that I think I am going to use. Also, It got me thinking and so I began typing and before you know it I had a monolouge of my own. I entitled it "Anxiety inside Passion" because it revolves around the idea of being afraid for/of passion (love). I got more ideas about an hour after I finished it so I am now trying to see if I can make a one man play revolving around it.

Last night was so fun, Phil convinced me to come to the dance, so I did, I helped out with alot of things, got some reading done in Lord of the Flies and helped out at the canteen all night. Pollock had his Ipod and speakers there so we blasted music. At the end when everyone was leaving we blasted N*sync, Backstreet Boys, and Aqua. I was surpirsed that I got around 15 people singing and dancing to the music with me. Haha, good times.

I think I have become more of myself over these past few days of school. If that makes sense to anyone, congradulations, if not let me explaine. I have had a problem all my life with acting like other people, trying to fit in, not being myself. Well, now I am being myself but not totoally. I guess it's more of a gradual process that takes loads of time, but it is happening.

I cannot wait for monday, swimming starts but the only thing I am worried about is the stretch marks I have on my side for being fat. Those gross me out alot but yea, I hope to get rid of them by going to the school gym after school 4 days a week, eh Phil? Heh, also on monday we have a drama meeting so wooo! I plan to show Blok my monolouge-draft and see what she thinks. I hope that being in Theatre Arts helps me choose to go for a leading role in Shakespear this year; I would love to have one, I know I could do it.

Well, I guess that, I'M A DIIIVAAA, anyways, I guess that I will end this tonight and I would like to thank christian-face for helping me. I owe him one, and yea. Night.

First day + Pit all day = Crap.

2006-09-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Country music sucks. Period.

All righty then folks, it has been at least a few days since my last "real" entry; so lets get to it! Today was nothing special, I got my locker and my pink agenda (which I love <3) I also got my class list for the next two semesters, good things happen to bad people! I am not in French 10 yet I failed it, oh well, I will take it in grade 12. Also, I am going to the office tomorrow to see if I can switch Geomentry and Application for TOK (theory of knowledge) with Blok, who may just be the best teacher in the world. I have her for Theatre Arts frist semester, E block.

Chris is in my Modern history 112 class, B block. So even if it completely sucks ass, I will at least have someone I know in it! What else, I have some people I know in my Functions and Relations class, A block ... Chemestry is with Milley, another fine teacher who I also have for Bio 120 in 2nd semester. Man, I will love my classes this year.

Nothing much else to report ... got some new shirts and some ties (pink salmon tie!) and I love em, well, time to wrap this one offeth. Goodnight ... er ... afternoon? Oh, and highlight of today was Phil Marmen dressing like a skank in the SRC rules video. Way to go man. Made me laugh.

~ Jazz (current song : Humans - Islands)

Questions ...

2006-09-02T15:13:00.000-07:00

Everything is a question, nothing is an answer.

When will I die?
Will I go to hell for the lifestyle I live, or will I not? God did give me free will and everything so why would he condem me for doing somethign like being with the same sex? Makes no sense.
Will all my friends die? If so, how soon?
what will I be?
What will I face?
What will we face?
Is today the end, or just the beginning of something, and the ending of another?
does true love really exist?
When does life truly begin? 18?
Why do I bother?
How do we know if friends are, friends?
Can we trust anyone 100%?
When will the next turn take a huge effect?
did I do somethign wrong?
do I have some condition?
Why me?
Why you?
why anyone?

These are questions that still bug me.

Awwwww

2006-08-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

Fuck.

Rough Hands ...

2006-08-26T21:21:00.000-07:00

I'll strike a match and burn away ...

Today was not so bad, I got my haircut and I look sorta odd to myself, I feel like my face looks more feminen. Although Alex tells me this is a good thing I dunno; I shall judge that during school. For the whole of today I did nothing but sit on my rump. Something I ahve to stop doing, also, I should start doing my "workout" again (weights and crunches). tonight is time numero two that I have not done them.

Monday comes closer, and I know that with it, brings school even closer. I go to the school on monday, very early with Phil Marmen so I won't miss the SRC meeting that reicker wants me to attend; i told alec I was going to take notes for him so yea. I am stoked for the first day of school and seeing all my friends, particualry two people whom I care for very much; no not Chris as I gave up on that around, two days ago. But there are two others I am fond of (yes i am a freak).

Every passing day seems like I am growing up and becoming an adult. I will never really be an adult as I refuse to let go of the child I am. I feel that it is a good thing I choose not to let go of the child side of me as I get older; it makes me continue to be sane.

Enough of my inane babbles. Time for me to stop typing and try and do something until I fall asleep. Justin is not on, and has not been on for the whole day, so I guess talking to him is out of the question (sigh). Well time for me to go and just to gloat and make me feel better about myself, I typed this whole entry without looking at my keyboard. Save to make things bold and make sure when using the brackets that I do not make a mistake. G'night New Zeland!

~ Jazz (current song - Mailbox Arson - Alexisonfire)

These are the words of a broken man ...

2006-08-24T20:26:00.000-07:00

I am sorry for all the things I have done, said and acted upon. All of those times I wanted to do and now that I finally did, I can only say three words. Three words that I hope will make it go away, three words to end my contasnt tourture. Three words to end everything I hate about myself; three words, to you.

I am sorry.

This is from me to you, from me to me, and from me to god. I am so friggin sorry for everything. Make it go away, make it all just end. Why can't I just be a normal teenager? I guess that wasn't the deal? Fuck. Just forgive me and we can let this go, forgive me and we can begin new, forgive all my sins and I can become forever your's. Forgive me and teach me, let me learn from my mistakes. I cannot do this alone, I need help; please lord send me an angle, send me a guiding light. Send me someone who can help, someone to trust; someone I can believe in. I am yours to guide.

Forever your's;

~ Jazz

Crisis

2006-08-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

This season's growin cold, I fear this could be the end ...

Been a while has it not? Ya, I would say it has; and for good reason. It's been about a week since the dance show with chris and I don't really feel well at all; I still hate myself for emailing him. Oh well, we all make mistakes but I fear I may have made too big of one. I can only hope nothing happens, nothing bad that is.

Sunday was good, went to see a movie with Cory, we meet Teegan while walking around and in the theater we sat next to Alyson (who hurt my arm and I will get revenge for that). The movie was Snakes on a Plane (or SoaP) and it was flipping awsome. I mean, it was a really good time. So after the movie me and Cory went to play DDR and then teegan wanted to play but she had to go (no fair!). So, my mom gave Cory a ride home and then home we went.

Teegan then sent me links to songs for Stepmania, it's like a DDR copy but for your computer. It is wicked cool; I still suck though using the beginner option rules! Haha, I made plans to get Alyons, Erin and Megs to come cloths shopping with me sometime next week at Value Village.

I'm getting a haircut soon. So I am very happy about that, but I am also scared that it will look horrid. Alyson was great in helping me calm down, she found some awsome freaking hairstyles that, well, just ask her.

Today I cleaned out my room (and it's a double play, hooray!) and there is SO much room now, I mean literally I can see the freaking floor. My mom is going to put hardwood flooring down though so that is good. Heh, I need to start swimming again, i'll start tomorrow.

Well, this is where this entry stops so I will say my goodbyes. Things so far are great, talking to Mike and Chris so that is always good. anyways, here is the hairstyle I want (laugh, i know you want to). Enjoy (and ignore he guys pose).

~ Jazz (This Could Be Anywhere In The World - Alexisonfire)

Every move I make in you; you are my way jesus ...

2006-08-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Waves of mercy, Waves of grace ...

Told you guys that I would update again. Still no email from Chris and I am still procrastinating about the whole thing, I mean, what happens if he stops talking to me forever? Ok, change the subject Josh, no one cares.

I have been playing the same song over and over again for about an hour; it helps me think about things. The song title is "Every Move I Make" by the Supertones. A type of gospel band Mr. Marmen sent me, hearing this particular song makes me calm down and become closer to myself and able to control my feelings. It also helps me pray.

Prayer is something I have recently been doing alot off; i pray almost every hour for different things. Mostly I pray for safety of my friends and family, and their friends ect. although I have been praying for other things that are beyond my control. Gosh I still need that bible.

Youth Group begins soon and I cannot wait for it, i'm so pumped that I am more inflated then a car tire. Anyways, good to talk to you all again, i'm talking to Cory so I feel alot better, he's such a great guy and he has helped me alot with this whole Chris thing. Thanks Cory.

current song; Every Move I Make - Supertones

~ Jazz

Why did I do this to myself ...

2006-08-18T13:36:00.000-07:00

The only thing keeping me from ending it is your smile.

So, today has been a hard day for me, no email from chris although he may be at his camp. It's going to be hard getting on with life if what I fear comes to light. Well, I have one thing going for me if it does happen, my friends. I know they will be there for me and I to them.

Gosh darnit I need a Teen Bible now. I dunno why but I really want to read the bible; that, and become a very active person within Stone Curch Youth Group. I guess it will have to wait until I get a job (i hope i can get into the usher one at harbour station). Just a warning to you all, once school begins I may not be as active as I am currently (posting once per day) as I need high honours for the next two years.

I told Phil I would help him with anything he needs help with during school (he is the src vice president) and he said sure; not this week coming but next week, the one before school, I shall be helping him put locks on lockers. I cannot wait for Reach For The Top (rftt) to begin this year; as well as swimming for SJHS, I want us to win provinciles once while I am at school!

Well I will post something later when I find something else to rant about, my sister has her friends over so i'm just trying to stay in my room (i am a hermit like that) but I guess I could use a shower, i'll take one now. Bye.

Current song: Billy - James Blunt

~ Jazz

I'm ready for it, Come on bring it. [Part 2]

2006-08-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

Don't stop being my friend ...

Well, I emailed chris today after being sort of pressured to do it, besides I reall wanted to know about him. I hope he emails me back and we are still friends (i didn't like it when last time i asked he stopped talking to me for about a year). I got eighty dollars today for working the show with chris though, he was funny tonight; he never stops making me smile. :)

I hope I do not sound like a jerk chris, if you are reading this (which you probably are) don't hate me. I really enjoy spending time with you and I hope we still can, no matter what.

Last paragraph tonight, I shall see you all tomorrow ... G'night.

~ Jazz

I'm ready for it, Come on bring it.

2006-08-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

Pickle.

Well, today was fun. I wake up at around 9am and I just slowly awake. So, later on in the day I got invited to go swimming in the river by the Marmens; it was fun. My sister was too scared to go out far so me and Mrs. Marmen had a talk (about school and such). So, I had some fun and tried to get Ben to go into the water; my attempts failed.

After swimming we returned back to the Marmen household where Ben, his friend and I went to go play games for a bit. This is when I learn supper was at my house early today so I biked back (did i mention i liked biking now?) to my house and I got to meet some new people.

~ Jazz

Wild Horses

2006-08-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

Wild Horses Couldn't Take me away.

I finally understand somethign about life. It is something that is set in front of you, like one huge obstacle course. Through the many challenges that face you, there are many friends you will make. Today I made the choice of listening to my friend again, and it made me realise ... friends are there to guide you, to pick you up when you have fallen; to help you make choices which may seem unclear.

My Life is birlliant, My love is pure.

Today was a difficult time in my life, one that has changed me forever. I have learned to be thankfull for what I have, and always be accepting more. I have alot to give, and I have yet to start giving. Everything I do, everyone I meet will have an impact on me in some way, and I to them. This impact may be small or rather large; but it is still an impact.

There are children standing here, arms streched out into the sky.

Alan got me talking to this friend of his. His name is Cory and he is extreamly smart (and not to mention good looking). Earlier today I told Alan I never wanted to talk to him again; I am sorry for saying that Alan. Cory is an extremely outgoing person, much like me; we share so much in common it scares me. I'm really taken by him.

And I see, No bravery. No bravery, in your eye's anymore. Only Sadness.

Last paragraph and then I shall go, this is something I really don't like to admit, but it is true and well, I don't say it often. Even though we have our differences I still care about you sis, may your live prosper into what you dream to it to be and more. To all my friends, may our lives intertwine many times and may you prosper. Let us never forget the good times, or the bad. Let us remember who we are, where we come from, and what defines us as people.

There is only one world, one sky, one earth; let's share it in happiness.

~ Jazz

Dear Lord, accept me into your heart.

2006-08-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

Dear lord, forgive the sins I have comitted, forgive me or every wrong doing. Accept me as your child.

So, I have come to terms with something. I want to be accepted by god. I want to be a better person and I want to start now.

This entry is going to be short, If anyone would like to help show me the way, leave me a comment.

~ Jazz

Chris, Do that again and I will...

2006-08-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

Chris, I may have to hurt you ... or not

Well, tonight was fun, me and chris got to the school at around 5.45pm and set up and had everything ready by 6.05pm so I went to the store for some pop and water, when I got back Chris had cleaned the mess the other guys left before us.

The show started and I was nervous (kind of like I am when I am acting) so I doubled checked everything and Chris and I had a few laughs, although, he did alsmot make me pause the music during a dance and I may have had a tiny heart attack.

So, Chris and I waited for Mrs. Blok to lock up for us and when she did, we waited outisde. Chris sad down near some plants while I just layed down under them, it was a nice few moments. I feel like me and him are better friends; that's good ...

Hmm, fourth paragraph this time, I guess I should say my goodbyes for tonight, I shall post tomorrow another update in my oring life that is ... boring? I dunno.

~ Joshua Fry (Jazz)

Advil anyone?

2006-08-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

Advil solves all problems, save death.

Advil is a godsend! I mean really, today during a break where Chris and I went out to subway (eat fresh!) for supper, and we walked around a bit after, stopped at timmys for some cinnamon buns (they were awsome). Then, during the walk on the Harbour Passage I got this wicked headache. So we finally found a freaking store that had Advil (horray!).

So, today was not that bad and I am talking to Mike now so I feel better, I got to spend time today with chris so that was great (boy was it!).

Again, thrid paragraph and this time it shall be the last for this post. So I shall elave you with the final words. ADVIL ROCKS!

~Joshua Fry (Jazz)

Payment you say?

2006-08-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

Well, as my great aunt martha would say, watch out for the pickle.

Well, today is going to be something special, I shall be stuck in a booth with chris until 9.30pm tonight, doing sound (which, in the mini theater is jsut pressing play) and making sure all goes smoothly for monday, tuesday, and wednsday. Although, we do get supper from 6 ~ 7pm so that will be good.

All I need to really do is play with the volume on some of the song tracks, and make sure the songs don't pop or crackle. Chris on the other hand just has to make all the light cues into a stack or something, if that works, his job will be just pressing a button.

Third paragraph and I am almost done making your time wasted, before I go I would like to fill you in on last night, and why I dislike Mrs. Hooten. She crossed off our sign-out times on the sign in sheet for the school, and set the alarm. So the alarm goes off and now my headache is one-hundred times worse then it was before.

That is all for now, I shall catch you all on the flip side.

~ Joshua Fry (Jazz)

PS: If she sets the alarm again, and we are still in the school; does anyone have a hunting knife I could borrow?